IMPERFECT PIZZA

2011-03-25T22:32:00.002+08:00

Exams are just around the corner and I've had a new fascination recently - again. This always seems to happen when exams are coming. Gosh, I wished I fancied something way before exams. Or better still after exams. But so far, I've been refraining myself quite abit so thats pretty good. However, I could do better.

2011-01-03T23:34:00.003+08:00

So I finally realized that I could never say 'here I come LED!'. I feel really disappointed. But I know its all my fault. I didn't do enough research and solely depended on the manual, which was very misleading. I think that the adapters that I bought could work but it is impossible to convert analog to digital unless you buy a converter, which is not worth buying. So vga it is. The only solution is a laptop with hdmi. Nevertheless, the new TV has brought my family even closer. Overall, I'm happy with it.

2010-12-27T20:11:00.003+08:00

I saw many tourists today. It was a refreshing sight. I wished I became a tourist too. InsyaAllah someday. My family has to go on a holiday. My parents deserved it more than anyone else.

2010-12-22T21:37:00.001+08:00

It comes and goes. But I know the solution to it. Why won't I do it? I know the answer to that too. It pains me. Every single time. Do I always want it that way? Of course not. Then why don't you? Again it pains me. Until when? Until when? Haiz.

2010-12-14T18:10:00.002+08:00

A few eventful things had happened these past few months. I do not know where to begin. It seems like too much to be put into words and Im not really good at simplifying things. But I'll try my best so here it is.

I experienced my first ever toothache during this year's fasting month. It was due to one of my wisdom teeth which was impacted. It was a real test and a challenging one at that. But Alhamdullilah, everything worked out in the end. Initially, I seriously felt like pulling my teeth out there and then. The pain totally affects your whole life and body especially when you're trying to sleep. The pain just stays there and wont go away. I now can totally empathise with people who have toothaches. So the week immediately after Hari Raya, I had my dental surgery because school was going to start the week after. Everything was in a rush but I had to do it. I do not want to experience another toothache again. The surgery was painless although you can feel pressure was being put onto your teeth like prying and pulling. And there's also the sound and feel of drilling. Only the injection of anaesthesia was painful especially when the dental surgeon injected the inside upper part of my mouth. But he was nice and kind enough to apologise and warn me first before injecting that part. Alhamdullilah, it has been almost 3 months since my surgery and my gums are healed and all closed up. No more toothaches I hope from my other teeth.

Final year had started right after my surgery and it has been about 5 months into the year already. Before I knew it, I would be sitting for my exams and searching for a job! Wow! Suddenly, I want things to really slow down. Catch my breath. Stay this way. But things got to change. Reality is surely coming closer and closer each day.

I attended a few workshops these past few weeks. All I can say is, really useful, wished I attended earlier, wished I planned ahead and be brave enough. End of story.

I recently was able to surf the internet on my handphone. I was very the jakun because I've never been able to in the past. I've been pretty kiasu and downloaded free apps and games whichever I find interesting and do not need to go online. Now I can at least do something when Im free for short periods of time.

Hari Raya Haji was abit different this year too. Two words: Visitation and shopping. I didn't expect my dad to buy a TV on that day. When we finished our only one visiting, we decided to head to Westmall to buy food. It so happened that there was a HN sales and the next thing I knew my dad bought a TV. Even though it was a timely decision as our old TV's graphics were deteriorating, it was suprising as the initial plan to buy was weeks away and erm it was Hari Raya Haji? But since the price was cheap, my dad just bought it. However, an issue arose, four words: vga, dvi, hdmi and laptop. Too long and complicated to explain. I just cant wait for the adapter to arrive and I can finally say, here I come LED!!!!

These two weeks have been pretty tight. Two ugama exams and three school assignments. I hope everything goes smoothly. InsyaAllah. Amin.

So, that was it. My "simplified" account of the very few eventful things that happened in my very average and simple life.

2010-07-18T22:27:00.002+08:00

Even though I felt excited as I was about to watch an anime's new episode, but somehow the excitement just wasn't there whilst watching. I guess that's the downside of knowing the storyline from the manga beforehand. You'll be able to predict what's going to happen next, in motion. There was an episode that I remembered that didn't appear in the manga at all. I had mixed feelings about it though. I felt abit relieved that its unpredictable but at the same time I also felt abit disappointed that it didn't follow the manga's storyline. Hmmm. It's so hard to be pleased with it. Maybe I'm being too unreasonable. Maybe I should just be happy that they made the manga into an anime. Fullstop. But I really have to say this that the manga is much better than the anime. I think it applies to other mangas and animes too. Sometimes I feel I would rather either read a manga, or watch its anime or watch its drama or movie if any. Have only one point of view of the storyline instead of variations of the storyline. In that way, I'll feel less disappointed and more excited. Oh well, I shouldn't be too focused and bothered by this. There are many more better things that I should do!

2010-07-14T19:09:00.002+08:00

I didn't tink that mayonnaise could taste like cod liver oil. Yuck. It sure do brings back bad memories. No offence to cod even though it has many health benefits but its taste was one of the most disgusting things I've ever tasted. Luckily now, there are fruity flavours of it which make it taste much better. Back to mayonnaise. I recently bought a jar of it. I wanted to try to make a sandwich with it. I guess I put too much of it because of someone's recommendation despite tasting it first and knew of its similar taste to cod. Big mistake. The sandwich didn't taste that great with lots of it. In the end, I scrapped out some of it off the sandwich and try to avoid its taste in my mouth when chewing.

A few days later, I tried eating the mayo again. This time with fries and chilli sauce. It still tastes like cod. Not wanting to waste any of it, I just forced myself to eat it, making sure I covered the fries with more chilli sauce than mayo. Maybe I should try and buy another brand of mayo. But I dont think I saw other brands that are halal or have a satisfactory halal label.

2010-06-17T14:49:00.003+08:00

Manga, anime and k-pop fever is back! It feels good to do something that makes you happy. Especially after all the horrible things that happened recently. Its time to move forward. Yeah! Although I should be doing something more productive, I just can't help it these days! Everyday is like manga or anime or k-pop time! Hehehe. Found out about a new korean boyband yesterday and they sure are hot! This made me go back and take a look at the k-pop idols I used to watch and hear at youtube all the time. Luckily, exams are over (except for ugama exam, yikes!) and Im super free. Fortunately also, I did not do this during school time or else I'm in imminent danger of abandoning all things school and allow my desires to control me. I got to learn to control myself!

Its been 3 days since I've started eating vegetable soup and doing my in-home walkaerobic exercises. After seeing slim, sexy and hot korean idols, I so wanna lose weight. Im really heavy for my height. Im not particularly happy with my thighs and calves. I hope this motivation lasts long. Maybe it'll be fine as long as I watch my favourite korean idols everyday. Yeah!

Anyway, I was shocked to learn about Hankyung's lawsuit and that of some other members. No wonder he wasn't there at recent concerts and tv appearances. I just hope Super Junior won't disband. SJ Fighting!

Electronic gadgets sure evolve and change rapidly. I just found out that Nintendo had come out with a new DS, 3DS. First its, DSi and now 3DS. Wow, so fast do things change. You can watch 3D movies on it. Initially I was thinking of switching to psp 3000 because its easier to transfer and better to watch movies and music while dslite requires quite a bit of work. But now with the new 3DS, I might change my mind. However, it'll still be a long way to go for me to buy any type of new console. But I guess there's no harm planning ahead anyway, and dream and dream and dream of the things that I wanna buy.

Ok, back to k-pop, manga and anime! Yippee!!!

2010-06-14T22:02:00.003+08:00

Today was a traumatizing day.

I'll never forget it.

Such a shame, guiltiness, anger and hatred.

How can people be so heartless, merciless & barbaric?

In front of my own eyes.

2010-06-11T01:15:00.002+08:00

So cruel.
Let me stay in my fantasy world forever.
Reality can be so cruel.
Or isit my imagination?
Nope.
Not a chance.
Why.

2010-04-09T02:04:00.002+08:00

Its 2 in the morning. Im having a hard time sleeping at night these days. Celebrated my sister's 24th birthday last week. My family bought tons of food. From cake to kfc to okonomiyaki and takoyaki. It was impossible to finish all. But at least there's plenty of food left for the next couple of days. Yes I do eat leftover foods or foods which were bought the day before and not yet eaten and kept refrigerated. All I had to do was to heat them up in the microwave or the toaster and they'll still taste superb. Just thought of saying that because who knows there's some people who dont like foods which are more than a day old or hours old or not hot anymore.

Time sure flies. Next thing I knew, a cousin of mine got engaged a few days later. He's like a year older than my sis. Wow. Pretty fast dont you think. Anyway, only my parents went to the ceremony. My sister and I couldn't attend his engagement because we had religious classes on that day. Perhaps on his wedding day we'll be able to make it. Im curious to see what his fiancee looks like.

My revision workshops started recently. Nothing much happened today though. Stayed at home the whole day. Yippee! There's no better place like home like they always say. And its true. Im becoming more annoyed at crowded places. I wish I could live in some countryside or a less populated big country. No more worrying about all the negative crowd-related stuffs. I just want peace. PEACE.

2010-02-18T23:56:00.012+08:00

Time to change. Or else I'll always end up like my previous posts - pretty much depressed and more depressed. Thats not the way it should be. So to start off today's blog post Im gonna post some pictures. Dont we all love pictures. These pictures were taken ages ago but never quite made it to my blog.

Gotta love these macroon cookies...

Gotta love these too...

And more...

...

After that gotta love burger ramly...

And some dessert...

With some cake of course...

And more cake...

Not forgetting jumbo hotdog with fries...

And ending it with a smoothie.

*Yawn*

2010-01-09T03:33:00.002+08:00

Time for positive thoughts. While this peace lasts. I got a new handphone a few weeks ago. A Samsung Corby. Its just a simple and easy-to-use-to-me touchscreen phone. I dont think its necessary to have a sophisticated phone now because I dont think I'll fully utilise its functions. Furthermore, this'll help take a little load off my parents. Perhaps when Im already working then I could be a little more advanced. Anyway, the feature I liked most about Corby is its dictionary. Wherever I am, be it school, on my bed or anywhere else, finding word meanings is just a touch away. No more reaching out and getting that super duper thick dictionary out from the shelves, which I fear going near for now because there was a tiny lizard there a few weeks ago. The lizard is still at large. I have no idea where it is in my room but I hope its gone far away.

Another positive and happy thing thats happening is just two words - Pokemon Platinum!!! Wuhooo! I love pokemon! Hehe. Its a DS game and its soo much FUN! Its not only about collecting pokemons and winning gym badges, there's so much more to it. I could play for hours and hours which I happily and at the same time guiltily played today :) :( Gosh I gotta control myself! But its good in a way that I get to forget about things.

I can't wait for Wednesday. Something big's happening. Finally it'll end. Hopefully there'll be no more in future. Im counting the days.

My throat hurts now. I just drank whats left of today's kfc's ice lemon tea. Apparently some lemon residue made its way through the straw and into my throat. I already drank some cold water but I could still feel the after effects of it.

Hope I can sleep soon. Its 4.05am as Im typing this. Yes its 4 AM in the morning and its all my fault. I've been sleeping late lately and Im having trouble sleeping early. Plus tomorrow I have ugama lessons! Hope Im not sleepy in class :( I think I better stop now.

2010-01-06T00:21:00.003+08:00

Living with it is hard. Nobody knows except me and God. I look around me and see no one with the exact same thing. Its just me. I wonder why. How. But I shouldnt. I should be thankful. Its easier said than done. But nobody will understand. Nobody that knows me. I bet they have never even heard of it and think its something funny and should be mocked at. Im so angry and sad. It just eats into your heart. The feeling wont go away. It just disturbs your mind until you go insane and unstable. I hate that. And even if a soul knows, that soul wont understand. In fact, nobody will understand. They'll think its rubbish and think its easy to overcome. Just do it lah or just dont do it lah. They can say that and do exactly what they told me easily because they dont have the burden that I have. If all this is passed onto them, then they'll know. They'll know what it feels like. How it eats into you, breaks you apart, controls your mind and crushes your emotions. But at the end of the day, the reality will always be that they will never understand.

2009-10-16T22:16:00.002+08:00

School's back. Sent my parents to NUH yesterday. My mum had to go for a check-up. My dad unexpectedly met a relative's wife whose husband is being hospitalised there so we visited the latter too. Abit depressed these few days too. The problem relapses again and again. Thank God Im okay now. Gotta remember God always. It really calms me down.

2009-09-03T16:40:00.003+08:00

The holy month of Ramadhan is here again. Last year's Hari Raya seems just like yesterday. Before I knew it, its always this and that and then that and this. There's no need for further elaborations. I knew it, just have to accept it and move on.

2009-08-09T04:09:00.002+08:00

I finally know exactly what was and still is wrong with me. The signs and symptoms tell it all. I can totally relate to it. Initially I thought it was this, this or that. Although I think I might have that as a kid. But now it has turned to the exact thing I found out. I cant let this control my life! I can turn it around. I have to. Its for the best. Its for MY best. It'll be a hard and slow process but I have to gradually do something about it. If I can survive it in the past, so can I in the present and future. Yes, I can do it. God, please help me.

2009-08-03T19:44:00.002+08:00

I hate this feeling inside of me. Its been going on since hours ago. I cant seem to shrug it off. What IS happening to me? Im so scared and feel so helpless. Its like a sign telling me something. Something bad. My instincts somehow are always spot on. Like today. But I chose to ignore it and it happened but its all too late. Everything's been said and done and seen. What IS this feeling?

2009-07-31T08:38:00.002+08:00

I recently found out something interesting and disturbing. Interesting because I have a certain obsession with it but it normally depends on the type of situation and how beautiful that situation makes it look. Disturbing because I didnt expect to find it right here in our own backyard, in this country, in certain situations, right here right now. But it is all happening. What exactly is happening? Something out there.

I would like to say it but I just dont want to. So why bother talking about it in the first place? I just cant help it. I feel like I need to blurt out just abit of it so I can feel abit better. Call me weird, shout at me to say or whatever. Im not gonna say what it is exactly as always.

Anyway, I couldnt sleep last night so I decided to watch a movie. I seriously have a sleeping problem :( I thought of cooking okonomiyaki (some sort like pancake) but ended up just cooking instant noodles. I just wanted to help finish the flour! A few days ago I decided to bake some cookies. I was so excited after the batter turned out the way it should be - the same colour as shown in the recipe book. Sadly......the oven was down =( It could no longer be used. Everytime I on it, the whole house blacked out (Looks like no baking of kuih muih for Hari Raya this year. Thats just so sad). At first I thought it was due to the heavy rain which always causes blackouts in my house. But after many tries... Haiz. I was so sad and my mind was a mess. After all the beating and heating and combining and stirring... What was I supposed to do with all that batter? In the end, I tried 'baking' the cookies in the the toaster. Hehe. It turned out quite good suprisingly. More importantly they were edible. So the batter was not wasted afterall. The end.

2009-07-08T23:08:00.002+08:00

I attended a cousin's wedding quite recently. It was just a small scale wedding held first at ROM and then at her house. Some people were even surprised I was there due to the fact that it was on a weekday, which meant I was supposed to be at school like most of my cousin schoolgoers. But I did not have any classes that day. Anyway, that was the second time I witnessed an akad nikah at ROM. The last time was way back in primary school I think. The ceremony reminded me how marriage is a BIG thing and we better be prepared and ready before entering that phase in life.

A technician came yesterday to install the renewed internet and Mio. It was the first time my family was experiencing Mio. Me and my sister spent the whole night watching two movies. The first was Double Vision and second was Hana Yori Dango Final. It was unplanned initially but after having cooked up some hot dogs and scrambled eggs in the middle of the night (thanks to my sis), what would be a better way to enjoy a meal than while watching a movie?

2009-06-04T20:22:00.006+08:00

I have super short hair right now. I had it cut a while back. My medium length hair was increasingly becoming a pain in the butt with the extreme hot weather and my profuse sweating. I think I may really look like a boy at a glance. My voice and perhaps my small chest are the only give aways. Oh well who cares anyway. I wear a scarf at the end of the day. Had my haircut at the comfort of my own home. That was the second time I've experienced it. Me, my mum and sis cut our hair that same day. There are other kinds of services available (e.g. facial treatment etc) but we would have to book earlier. Interesting. I would like to try though but not so soon. Perhaps when I start working. Im just not into 'beautifying' myself like most girls do. Only once in a while do I get the urge to be all girly. I even got criticized by my sis about not being a girl blah blah blah. I think it takes so much time and effort. In other words Im super lazy and could care less. Haha. I just like to make do with whatever I have now.

Ive been starting to read alot of mangas now. Im really into this certain genre currently. My sis introduced it to me last year. At first I was what? eew? no way! But after watching some anime and mangas about that genre, boy am I hooked on it. I dont intend to disclose what genre it is. I think its someting not all could accept. It will be my secret hobby hehe (not that secret anymore now that I blurted it out abit but I just cant help it!!! Im in love with it!!!).

Anyway, besides that really happening thing Im doing, Im also into playing this game called Harvest Moon on my DS. Yup I bought a Nintendo DS last year with my allowance and Hari Raya money. I wasnt into it at first but after researching about it and playing it first hand I decided "hey I wanna buy this thing". The game is mainly about farming and rearing animals but there's really lots to do in the game and its super fun! You can even get married and have a child. Im so glad there many guides about the game online. The game is super detailed.

Since I was talking about how I looked like a boy with my super short haircut earlier, I just felt like posting this video from Youtube:

The song in this video is "If I were a boy" by Beyonce. Anime used was Ouran HighSchool Host Club. Credits to kakashiXAino who made the video. I love both the song and anime! And no, this is not the genre I was talking about earlier.

2009-05-31T01:39:00.003+08:00

Never thought this day would come. Its not that its special or anything. There's nothing in particular though. Just thinking about the passage of time. The first thing to think of as always after not blogging in awhile .

Celebrated two things this month - Mothers' Day and my dad's birthday. How beautiful the look of pure happiness from my mum's face when she saw the cake me and my sister bought for her. It was one of the most precious moments. The cake was huge. I think the hugest cake I've ever eaten. Mango Delight from Secret Recipe. Absolutely delicious.

As for my dad, me and sis treated him his favourite pizza and bought him a battery-operated screwdriver. Funny how earlier during the day prior to giving the latter my parents happened to sort of see it at Home Fix. That blew the surprise abit. But I guess its pretty predictable where that sort of things could be found whether seen or not.

Another big event that happened this month was the repairment of the leaked air-con gas pipe. Three portions of walls had to be knocked down and air-cons were unscrewed and brought down for chemical cleaning or whatever they call it. I'm glad to know no cicaks were lurking behind my room's air-con. I had the unpleasure encounter with a few cicaks recently. The biggest I saw was as long as a ruler! Its still hiding behind a cabinet in the kitchen. Really smart and jinak. I have the urge to buy a lizard trap or best still call the pest busters. The only thing I could do now is be cautious of these creepy pests.

There's 101 things I wanna do but which one first?!

2009-01-28T22:27:00.003+08:00

Ive been pretty busy lately with school and all. I cant believe that my exams are coming soon! Sooo fast. Anyway, I realised the youtube video in my previous post was no longer available which is pretty sad but I added a new one. I just love anime! I cant wait to watch many many more when exams are over.

2008-12-16T23:09:00.008+08:00

AMV of Zero & Yuki from Vampire Knight. Credits to necrobutterfly.

I cant get enough of anime! I totally love them. I wished they are real. Anime guys can be sooo hot! Wished I got alot of time for anime. They're time-consuming thats the sad part. But the good part is that they really cheer me up and relieve my stress.

2008-12-16T22:09:00.002+08:00

Its been a long ride. Busy schedules, busy everything, brief schedules, brief everything. Now settling down and learning to prioritise. Hope Im doing a damn well good job at it. Anyway, I have good and bad news bloggy.

The good news is that my family bought a new computer recently! YahoOoOo! Finally, after suffering for so long with our old lagging computer, which surprisingly hold many secrets to it and Im really disappointed with what I found out! I believe my family does too. And which Im not planning to tell anyway. Haha. But on the bright side Im glad for those secrets as it revealed and taught us some GoOd lessons. I love our new computer!

The bad news is that Im currently having a serious sore throat! It appears there are pus aka nanah on both of my throats and it hurts to swallow almost anything even my own saliva! And it all started when we bought the computer. What an irony! Pain in happiness. Cobaan... I got an injection and some medications for it. The injection was pretty painful although it was injected at the most meatiest part allowable (now, where would that be? hmmm) so its less painful. Its been a long time since Ive received an injection. I hope I get well soon. I wanna eat many kinds of food! Hehe.

Pejam kelip pejam kelip, its been 5 months since I started school. Im breathless at the thought of that.

2008-08-25T23:43:00.004+08:00

I got abit of a shock signing into Blogger recently. Its dashboard was slightly different. The first thing I really thought was I was in someone else's blog. Nonetheless it was only for a brief moment. My so-called japanese alter ego identity was hard to miss soon after that. I had been indulging in sweet delights these past few days. Something I strongly have mixed feelings about. Pleasure and guilt.
Now you know why they are called sweet delights. They're delightfully sweet! The top image were donuts from Donut Empire that my family bought at Expo's Halal Food Exhibition about a week ago. I am so thrilled that they are Halal! We bought each flavoured donut there was except for the premium donut though. But premium or not, it doesnt matter because I got to eat donuts! Wuhooo!

Moving along to the centre images, the slice of cake was a Mudpie from Coffee Bean. The chocolate fudge and white chocolates were obviously the most delicious part. The cake part was great too but like most cakes, the more you eat it the less satisfied you get or "jelak". The only cake I ate that truly makes me wanna eat more so far was this chocolate cake from SpaggetiToo at IMM. I do not know what it was exactly called as it was my parents that bought it but what I do know is that every bite is so damn rich in chocolate. Rich in a good way, that makes you want more.

The last image were donuts from J Co Donuts & Coffee that my neighbours gave all the way from Btm just yesterday. I was extremely happy as earlier in the day I was asking my parents if there were any desserts but sadly no. And whaddaya know, we got donuts in the evening! Alhamdullilah. I had a couple of them again a few minutes ago and there's still some left! Yummy! From what I read, the outlets in Indonesia are Halal. However, the outlet here is not certified Halal yet if Im not wrong. I guess the Muslims I saw buying from the outlet here the other time knew the chain was from Indon. Oh well, at least I can buy from Donut Empire first! Yahooo!

2008-08-08T00:36:00.002+08:00

Its been over a week now since my unforgettable painful fall. My right ankle is recovering beautifully I think. At least I hope it is. I can walk as per normal now but I have to always keep in mind to walk with care and never to hurt my tiny leg again. Poor little thing. The agony it went through. The suffering I watched helplessly. Not to mention the endurance it or rather I had to go through. Alhamdullilah, Im much better than a week ago.

Anyways, school had begun last Monday. I had my first taste of uni life officially. Last Saturday's workshop lecture was an eye-opener too but not as intensive as Monday's one. I hope I will be able to cope up.

2008-07-31T20:27:00.003+08:00

I couldnt imagine what my life would be like after poly but now that its been over 5 months since I graduated, its finally clear in my mind. Duh. What am I talking about. Oh yes. Its been a long while since I blogged. Intentionally did so to suprise a friend of mine. Hehe. Right now, Im just relieved and nervous. Relieved a phase in life is over and nervous a new phase is coming up just around the corner.

Ive been working a temporary job for the past few months and recently quitted last Friday. Not that its a bad job that I quitted. I really liked it actually. Its quite near, had a reasonable pay and nice working atmosphere. Wanna know more ask me! Haha. I dont think its a good idea to say out loud over here. Anyways, I quitted because Im starting uni soon. And thats the reason Im nervous. Im currently having an-almost-one-week break before I start school. Im supposed to start next Monday but Ive been informed that there's additional class this coming Saturday! Boy, is everything sailing so fast. When I was working, everything sailed kinda slow and I complained in my heart for the day to end quickly. Now that Im finally free and everything's going so fast, I still complain. Im so contradicting myself but whatever I dont care. Doesnt it feel great to complain? It feels awesome.

Yesterday, I had a really nasty fall and sprained my right ankle. I can still remember how I felt when my right ankle twist in such a way that I thought it had broken. Alhamdullilah nothing serious had happened. Luckily, a 'makcik' came to my aid and helped 'urut' my leg. If it wasnt for her, I would be sitting down crying on the floor. For now, my leg's pain have subsided abit but I still cant walk like normal because it hurts. Thats the 'daulat' I guess. 'Daulat' for what? For only me and parents to know and perhaps my sister. For I am ashamed of myself that I never really do listen these days. Or maybe most of the times. And I better do! I hope my leg heals by the time school starts. God, please help me.

I feel like having some chocolates now...

2008-05-29T20:53:00.002+08:00

So today was my graduation day. Finally after much waiting. For it to come round and for it to be over. I just regretted that I panicked at the very last minute and didnt get the correct hand shake with the Director. I was all confused as to shake or not. Haiz. I should have just followed with the flow. But Nooooo. In the end, I didnt exactly held the scroll box the right way. As you can see, thats what happens when you panicked. Hopefully the picture turns out great. Ok enough of that. It should be a happy day. And it was after the ceremony was over and picture taking time followed.

Life would return back to normal as soon as tomorrow comes. A new journey ahead in the near future. I cant believe Im growing that fast.

2008-05-17T19:54:00.002+08:00

Wouldnt it be great to have whatever we dream of become a reality? But lets just face it. The possibility is always to none. Nonetheless, its great to daydream. It makes me happy to think about it. Problems aside and happiness beside. This makes me wanna keep on dreaming.

2008-05-16T19:16:00.002+08:00

Alots been going on lately. I took a time out today to settle the many things that I needed to. My family broke a record today by going to 5 different places all in one day. Im quite relieved now. I really need a good back massage now.

2008-04-19T15:26:00.003+08:00

Im currently blogging as the air-con people are cleaning my air-con. Its the first time my air-con has gone through a thorough cleaning since I have moved here. And I seriously wanna eat at Swenson's after this! I was watching the "Take Home Chef" cooking show earlier on and the apple pie instantly reminded me of the apple crumble at Swenson's. Yummmiieee. I've got to go there. Sadly, Im having terrible ulcers in mouth now. One on my tongue while the other at the back of my right jaw. How painful is that? Super duper painful. My right jaw is like swollen right now. It hurts when being pressed. It all started since Wednesday. When I started there. Oh well, that wont stop me from going to Swenson's. Yippee!!!

2008-04-10T09:51:00.002+08:00

The thickness of anxiety looms in an instant
Striking me and sending shivers down my soul
Drowning me into deep depths of inferiority
How I wished I am stronger
At least strong enough against hard currents
That kept pushing me away
Or made me run away which was more likely
Running as fast as I could
Avoiding, wishing to vanish
Sooner or later I have to face them
Them hard currents that some make it look easy
But never is for me
How I wished I am stronger...

2008-04-01T22:36:00.002+08:00

Happy moments. Dont we all love them. Happy Moment #1 - The repaired and upgraded computer. The CPU was just sitting there right on my bedroom carpet. A suprise and happy moment indeed. Cleared things up when my mom told me strange things not to drip water when I got into my room. Happy Moment #2 - Totally suprised my sister with her birthday gift. Her first reaction was "Eew, eew, eew". Haha. Its so her lines. She did not expect it I guessed and so was awkward. But it made me happy she told me that she liked the earrings. I was so happy yesterday that I doodled and doodled and doodled like a little kid. It was great to forget about my problems for a while. Happy moments. Please come visit me again. Always. Forever.

2008-03-15T01:27:00.007+08:00

What was nothing more than a piece of magazine page full of appetizing-looking pictures of sweet delicacies, finally came to life today. The Royal's chocolates, donuts and fruit tarts had arrived this afternoon!!! Yippee! Who wouldnt fall in love with the tempting and mouth-watering pictures of The Royal's sweet treats in Manja magazine. The instant I saw them, I had to have them. And they're sooo worth it! Hehe. I love all of them. From the various donuts' unique flavours to the sensational dark, white and strawberry chocolates and amazing fruity fruit tarts. I enjoyed every last bite. Sweetness is so addictive! Hehe. Here are some pictures of what my family ordered...

Yummy!!!

2008-03-13T00:54:00.002+08:00

Road blocked
Rooted deep
Immovable
Inconceivable
None to back you
None to the rescue

Instant rush of blood
Up to the head
Out through the eyes
Stuck in the nose
Ever overpowering
Incapacitating

2008-03-10T21:08:00.005+08:00

I finished watching Fruits Basket today. Yippee! I wished they could produce more episodes of it with Tohru and Kyo happily in sweet love. Kyo's definitely my favourite character of them all. He is sooo cute and handsome. Hehe. Oh gosh. Its been a long time since I had an anime crush. Haha. The last time I had was about 3 or 4 years ago when I was watching Rurouni Kenshin back then. Since then, I had no time to watch any animes at all.

Now that poly's over, I have lots of time to catch up with many more animes. Yahoo! Another recent anime I finished watching was Case Closed aka Detective Conan. I completed watching all 83 english episodes. There are still many more episodes of them though but they are all in Japanese with English subtitles. I prefer them in English actually because I do not have to rewind and pause to read the subtitles again if they were flashed too fast.

Below is an anime music video of Fruits Basket starring Tohru and my favourite cute Kyo from Youtube. Tohru is the sweet girl with dark brown hair and blue eyes while Kyo is the handsome boy with orange hair and brown eyes (in his animal form, he's a cat).

2008-03-08T00:54:00.000+08:00

It felt lonely. Being there. Walking around. Minding my own business. Searching for my destination. It was pretty awkward. I knew I stood out like a sore thumb. Anyway, the submission and certification procedure was suprisingly quick and efficient. Before I knew it, I was walking around again but this time almost aimlessly. Most of the brochures were familiar sights so there wasnt many new ones to take. I was relieved to get out of there moments later because the awkwardness was getting into my head and face most probably.

I bought a new bagpack yesterday for $17. A pretty good buy I must say. Its cheap and looks long lasting :D I think it would be nice to have a change in the type of bag Im carrying. No more aches to either side of my shoulders.

Its been a few weeks now since poly life ended. It was a good feeling but at the same time, a not-so-great feeling. There are no doubt ups and downs. But sadly, it ended with downs for me. I felt being taken advantage for sure. Oh well, only God knows to what extent I have gone through. Hopefully in future I wont experience such things ever again.

2008-03-08T00:52:00.002+08:00

Its easy for you to say
Its easy for her to say
Its easy for him to say
Its easy for everyone else to say
But saying is nothing
Compared to going through it all
So please, don't talk the talk
When you never walk the talk
Ever before...

2008-03-03T23:23:00.002+08:00

Waterdroplets dripping one by one
Steadily picking up its pace
As if slipping away without grant
Evaporating leaving no trace
On the solid ground below a plant

Some rare ones dissolves in colour
As a sudden gust led them astray
Descending with a plop into instant odour
Embraced by murkiness undefeated by day
Uniting with fellow mates of sour

2008-03-03T22:48:00.002+08:00

I've been eating barbequed chicken alot these days. The pasar malam had been there for longer than I thought. The chicken was absolutely delicious with its honey-glazed skin and crispy burnt bites. I think you can make a good business out of it. Beside this, I bought and ate a chocolate bun and cake, which too was delectable. I just can't stop myself from indulging in sweet stuff. I got to control myself. I'm becoming greedier and greedier.

Anyway, I went to the Career and Education Fair at Suntec City with N. last Friday and Saturday. There were many exhibits on various tertiary institutions' offerings and also on job offerings. I can't believe I'm growing older and one step closer to the real world. It's really scary come to think of it.

2008-02-29T00:09:00.002+08:00

Finally they're gone. Good riddance. No more unread emails. I have to keep in mind though of the possibility of a flooded email. No unread emails doesnt mean my email is empty. In it stays over about 1200 opened emails. Sooner or later I have to get rid of most of them. Okay, enough of email. Its driving me nuts.

Anyway, I wished I could play this computer game that was recently bought. I thought all PC games that state they're compatible with Windows XP can be played but how wrong I was. A check with the 'Game Advisor' at Microsoft's website proved that my computer system was lacking in memory space and graphics to play the game. What a waste. How I also wished my computer got upgraded and enhanced to be advanced. Wow that rhymes. But, I dont think it will ever happen anytime soon I guess. Or wouldn't it be great to buy a new PC? The ones with large monitors would be cool. Oh well, perhaps one fine day.

2008-02-27T00:48:00.002+08:00

I've been getting rid of junk emails or opened unread ones so as to reduced the number of unread emails. The number have sinced dropped from 200 plus to about 100 plus. The highest it ever got was 400 plus, which I managed to bring it down to 200 plus not far too long ago. The unread emails varies from newsletters, promotions, updates, activities from my ex-CCAs, emails I emailed to myself (mostly projects, for safe keeping in case I lose them in my thumbdrive, or worse my thumbdrive got lost or damaged) etc etc. Most of them are those I felt useless to open the moment I saw them, which obviously led to a habit of not opening them as and when I saw them, creating a huge number of unread emails. I had been fiddling with my email until I'm sick of it. Sick and I can't stand the sight of it. I stopped whatever I was doing and here I am blogging. I'm so relieved right now. It seemed as if I'm being long winded but it felt great, really. To release everything all at once. Well, not everything I guess. It was just about my email. Hehe.

Anyway, I thought I saw someone I knew while eating chicken quite recently. Even though I took a few glances at her, it didnt occur to me it was her at first until I'm about to take off. But still, I'm uncertain if that wAs really her. I have a tendency not to look at people as I'm eating so I would just briefly look around my surroundings. Why? Because I don't want them to look at me or even know that someone is looking at me. Why? Simple. Everytime I eat, my scarf would be crooked, not pointy or not at its right position etc. Okay so Im a little vain (Arent we all). But I really feel insecure when my scarf does that... Anyway moving along with the story... I was eating chicken with a friend, who told me that the girl did look at our direction a few times. So maybe it was that someone I knew afterall. However, I don't think it was her afterall after today. I was looking at her pictures at friendster, it was a little different. The girl I saw had her hair tied up but the one I knew had short hair. Maybe she cut her hair recently? Oh well, only God knows... The only thing that was certain was that the chicken was definitely finger licking good. And no, it was not KFC. It was Arnold's.

Hmm...I felt that I'm blabbering too much in this post...Nonetheless it felt great...Blabber blabber blabber...

2008-02-09T03:43:00.001+08:00

Two songs about the same thing but not exactly the same thing. In short, the first is about a female asking for an apology while the second is about a male not accepting an apology. Two very melodic songs with in depth meaning, especially for me right now and whoever out there that is in the same situation.

I Apologize
By Krezip

Apologize
By One Republic

2008-01-24T13:45:00.001+08:00

Two exams down, another two more to go. I think my last semester's exam schedule is the most student unfriendly schedule ever. Three exams on three consecutive days. So super tight. A few more days people. I cant believe it! Im going to end poly soon. Wuhoooo!

After all this is finished, Im gonna clean up room. That's the first thing I wanna do. Throw away all the junks, reorganised my stuff and just cleaaaan all the mess. I just sayang things that I find it hard to throw them away when I dont even need or use them. Im sure most of us are like that. This time must ThRoW man.

Anyway, today's exam was, like all other exams - stressful. I thought I had it going after dividing my time but some questions took me alot more time to do. I was rushing in the last few minutes. The last three questions were superly difficult with big digits in big formulas to count. I thought the invigilator would say like "Ok, 1 more minute, please write down your final answer" towards the end because thats what I normally hear but I was suprised when she just said "Ok, check that you have written your admin, seat number and class....(two seconds later)....Stop writing". Ok so maybe you can see it coming but I sure didnt. Thats the end of the question I did halfway. Its worth 6% :( I just hope that I did ok for the other questions and can score well on the overall. And also for all of my papers.

I cant wait to end poly! Yippeeeee!

2008-01-23T00:31:00.000+08:00

Its a Rocky Rocky Road.
Spoonful of bitterness here.
And a tiny pinch of sweetness there.
How depressing.

2008-01-13T22:34:00.000+08:00

School ended last Friday. Now Im left with a CA, my last semester exams and my final year project report :( Why cant they make our lives easier by leaving out the report? Its like making us suffer till end. Haiz. But if previous batches could go through it why cant I. Kinda sad abit though to finally end classes. Soon I'll be leaving poly and I'm pretty much scared about where I would be in future.

Anyway, I went out with CT and Dawn today at Vivocity. I arrived pretty early for the meeting, which was suprising I guess as I was told I was always the late one. Hahaha. So sorry girls. Hehehe. We decided to eat at Secret Recipe which I finally get to eat there for the first time. Yippee! I ordered Spagetti Meatballs & Iced Chocolate. Yum yum. Next time I think wanna try the deserts. We caught up on alot of things. Each others' stories and even other peoples' stories. Hehe. And by the way, I just wanna apologize to you girls (if you are reading this) for not telling you about him. There's so many things that happened actually and I became kinda secretive because of that (the negative ones). Yup.

How fast everyone's growing. I think its abit scary to think of growing. As I grow, I have more responsibilites to carry and what if Im not able to fulfil them or do a good job? Its just scary. And all I want to do now is play and relax. Hehe. But serious things would surely come sooner or later and I have to deal with them whether I like it or not. How I wished I can be a kid forever. Where everyday is playtime =)

2008-01-09T12:52:00.000+08:00

I felt calmer right now. Im relieved and happy that my final year project presentation was over and done with last saturday. I mean who isit? Cuma satu orang je yang aku tahu dan telah bersabar dengan pay-ail dia. I dont want to think and dwell much into it. What I want to do now is to spend my last three days of school in peace before the my final semester exams. Today my class and PTN lecturer ate Pizza Hut together. Yippee! I only ate one slice of pizza though as it was a big fat slice besides than chicken drumlets, garlic bread and cheeryade. We used the class fund so we could claim the $7.50 we each are entitled to have. Time do really fly especially when the end is coming. Less than a month and I'll be outta here. I felt like taking a long break after poly but...that can never happen. Haha. I felt calmer right now. I just had to say it again.

2007-12-25T20:38:00.000+08:00

About one more month people. And its getting even harder. The stress level is growing and growing but hopefully it never reaches the peak, which I think I might just explode and collapse. Why cant they make lives easier for us? Haiz.

Just want to ignore all these negativity for a moment and finally Enjoy something relaxing to do - blogging (about positive things of course). I recently found the song that I had been searching for since the farewell ceremony. Can you believe that I had actually saw the music video before? But I didnt remember it when I wanted it the most of course. Here's a video clip of the song from youtube:

Whine Up By Kat DeLuna
(feat. Elephant Man & Ivy Queen)

[Elephant Man]
It's summertime
Ladies looking hot
Shaking up what they've got
Elephant Man and Kat, c'mon

[Verse 1]
Senses telling me you're looking
I can feel it on my skin (Whoa)
Boy I wonder what would happen
If I trip and let you in
Don't get shook my my aggression
I just might be the one
Let's skip this conversation
Just whine your body up

(Ha Ha Ha)
Don't wanna wait no more
(Ha Ha Ha)
You got what I'm searching for

[Pre Hook]
Cuz I'm feeling your vibing
I'm riding high is exotic
And I want you, I want you here
Pull me closer and closer and
Hold me tight to your body
I wanna feel you, I wanna feel you near

[Chorus:]
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!

[Ivy Queen]
A ese nene lo tengo trikiao (oye)
Cuando lo bailo lo bailo de lao
Y lo empujo lo tengo tumbao
Con mis caderas lo tengo amansao wind!

[Verse 2]
Boy keep doing what you're doing get me hot
Winding up your body you don't have to stop
My temperature is rising, want you more than before
It's an animal attraction, whine your body up

(Ha Ha Ha)
It's the magic on the floor
(Ha Ha Ha)
I don't wanna wait no more

[Pre Hook]
Cuz I'm feeling your vibing
I'm riding high is exotic
And I want you (and i want you too), I want you (and I want you too) here
Pull me closer and closer (closer and closer) and
Hold me tight to your body
I wanna feel you (I wanna feel you too), I wanna feel you near

[Chorus:]
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!

[Elephant Man]
Right here
Now bring your body to me right here
She’s got the finest body I fear
Shake your booty off
Shake it off in high gear
And she runs her fingers to my ear
And all the black mons got white fear
And she shakes her booty right here
Mow pump up the volume right here

(Woah Woah Woah)
It's rifing
(Woah Woah Woah)
Give me the whine now

C'mon!

[Chorus: 3x]
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!
Whine up, whine up, whine up, oye!

Lo cuero, toca los cueros
Loca e que ta!!
She's crazy!

2007-12-20T22:05:00.001+08:00

Im just sad and full of regret. The things that came out of my mouth are nothing but...haiz. I hate it when people put me in the spotlight abruptly. Why me? Why cant they choose someone else? I just wanna watch that damn tv and stay quiet all by myself. I told my sis I feel like shouting 'shut up' to them. No matter how hard I try to avoid, there is just SoMeThInG thEsE people JusT NeeD to AsK me! Unbelievable. Truly amazing. Maybe its better to act dumb to avoid these kind of people so that their smart wit ***** can go ask some other victims. Haiz... I know its wrong to say all these during such a holy day but Im just too stressed out thinking of what had happened! I felt slightly better though after blogging. A thoroughly thought out escape route plan would make me even better.

2007-12-20T21:43:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya AidilAdha To All Muslims!

2007-12-17T23:26:00.000+08:00

It was a great deal.
40% discount.
From $49.00 to $29.40.
It was definitely a good purchase.
Cheap. Cheap. Cheap.
Please don't make it end.

2007-12-17T22:11:00.000+08:00

I was rooting for Jaclyn from Malaysia to win Asian Idol. She was by far the only contestant that satisfied me with her powerful vocals during the performance show. The magical moment one judge was talking and wanting all about magically happened when she sang her second song called "Gemilang". Her vocals just hit that mark you know. It was beautiful and powerdema. I think Hady was great eventually. The "Freedom" song he jointly sang with Jaclyn was his best performance in my opinion. But I wished he could have given that best performance in solo and during the performance show rather than on the result show. Nonetheless, the voting had not stopped till near to midnight and every audience would have heard his great vocals and seen his unwavering movements up on stage. I guess a particular judge's comments regarding something about the results was spot on. Exactly who and what he said, well you gotta catch the show yourself. Anyway, congratulations to Hady! He did make our country proud in the end :)

2007-12-16T20:15:00.000+08:00

My family went shopping today after a long time. Long time for me rather. I bought for myself 3 new tops plus a purplish skirt. Im kinda bumped out that I didnt get to buy some pants. The ones I liked were super duper expensive even though the discounts were taken into account. That ruined the chances of me buying. But no worries...Tomorrow my family's going shopping again! Wuhooo! And this time we're better off shopping at neighbourhood shopping malls, where things come in cheap. Hopefully.

I attended a farewell cum award-giving ceremony last wednesday. It was compulsory for all final year SB students. I thought it was going to be spectacular or something after having heard from a lecturer that she looks forward to it each year but it wasn't that much exciting to me I guess. The performances didnt 'wow' me really and the play ended like abruptly and incomplete to me. Oh well, at least I enjoyed the song played during the play. Sadly, I don't know the title of the song and neither does the 3 people I smsed. Hope i do figure out what was the song being played. On the plus side also, it was pretty inspiring seeing all the academically good students receiving awards for their achievements in studies, ccas and/or competitions.

2007-12-08T23:15:00.000+08:00

Gosh...I am really tired. Im hooked to the computer for almost 12 hours now. Project thingy as usual. But of course, there were times I took a break here and there. Either to eat, knock on my sis's door for nothing or watch some tv. Finally...I get to relax. Muahaha...So come and relax with me...

PurrzzzZZZZZ

2007-12-03T23:15:00.000+08:00

Ive been pretty busy lately with projects. On the bright side, Im just glad Im moving one step closer to graduation. The recent career fair I went made me wished how I could have done things differently. It definitely opened my eyes. But stubborn me...

Anyway, this week's the 11th week of my last semester. Wuhooooo! Another two more months people. I hadnt played with my camera at all these past few weeks :( What a waste. I got to start trying to use it as and when Im free to make it worth the money. Or someone's money rather. Hehe. I guess the part thats a tad bit of hassle is editing the pictures and videos. I tried making a video once, but I just could not endure the long process 'making it finally happen'. It was just too damn long a waiting time. The slowness of my computer made it even worst. Oh well, I guess the only best time I could endure is after graduation, which then would I be more willing to wait for as long as it takes in a day.

I treated myself to a movie yesterday. On vcd of course. I mean, who doesnt? Hehe. I watched 'Dragon War'. The ending was pretty sad. How I wished the 'juliet' of the story would live but instead she died eventually and left poor 'romeo' all by himself. The movie's kind of action pack with all the fighting and war between humans and prehistoric warriors and creatures. Now I like that part. The fighting, the war, the chasing and the heart thumping moments were all very thrilling. Its like 'when is it ever going to stop?!!?' that kind of thing. But I felt like 'romeo' isn't such a hero at all as he spent most of the time helping 'juliet' to escape from the prehistoric warriors and creatures hunting her. When he ended up fighting at last, it was a fight that lasted no more than 5 minutes. I guess the climax and true focus of the movie would be the battle between the bad giant serpent and the good giant serpent, which finally decided to show up right at the end (I mean where was it the whole time when the bad snake roamed and destroyed the city?) and was transformed into a good dragon with 'juliet's power. All in all, I think it was ok. Even though it seemed unrealistic and too far fetched too me and it should be as it is a fictional story, it was kinda entertaining to watch.

Dragon War Movie Trailer

2007-11-19T16:28:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah...Things got better for a change. Its been a few days now. However there's still pressure of another kind. Loads of work have arrived and more to come soon. Just hope I can manage.

I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew that the spagetti they had given me wasnt the spagetti bolognaise that I had ordered. Would a spagetti bolognaise contain prawns (aka udang gala), crab sticks and fish nuggets? I just wished I had not kept my mouth shut this time. By the time the manager and the staff at Swensens was aware of their mistake, I had finished eating it. I should have asked. I really should have. The reason I chose bolognaise was because it was one of the cheapest spagettis. I didnt want my parents to end up forking out too much as it was expensive to eat there. (Ok so we could have eaten at a cheaper place but long time no eat at Swensens man!) Instead, the misplaced dish I had was like 4 bucks more expensive people! Ok thats not a lot but it will make a difference as in the bill would not have reached the $100 mark?! Ok maybe I am overly making a big fuss out of this. I mean I did managed to taste an udang gala for the first time because of the mixed up. And I do enjoy eating the rest of the food such as the Cookie Summit Ice cream, french fries and my Treasure Island Float. Guess its worth while then...

2007-11-16T22:00:00.000+08:00

If time could be rewound, I'd make a difference to change this bitterness and pure sadness situation that I had gotten into. How I wished I had kept my big damn mouth shut and control my temper. I should have seen it coming and backed out. But nooooo. I just have to pour out all my anger and caused a good day to become the worst imaginable. Im sorry. Im really am.

Maybe what I need is to go through an anger management course...

2007-11-14T13:44:00.000+08:00

It rose
It hits
It stank
It stays
I stopped
Only to start
Again and again and again
There it was
The smell of my smelly feet

2007-11-14T13:16:00.000+08:00

Currently Im having a break and using the school's computer. Its pretty much relaxed but this freedom will soon end once the group projects had begun. I just signed up for a talk about SIM held at SP next week. Me and friend are thinking of going to the career fair next week and part of the fair includes various talks about universities, job careers, oversea studies etc etc. Basically about life after SP. I really cant wait to graduate. I guess the first thing I would do after graduation is to get a part time job while waiting for my last semester results. I have a few part time job options in mind. Jobs that would suit my personality and hopefully allow me to easily adapt to and learn. The extra income would help greatly even though its pretty small. But of course, I would have to literally get the job before any of my dreams could come true. If I do get one, that would be my first ever part time job. Yes people. I had never worked a single cent in my life apart from my attachment at a bank, which is not exactly considered a job I independently got into but rather one that was decided by a lecturer. Yup. Im very very dependent on my allowances. Oh well, I can only talk more about this once I get a part time job. Until then, I just hope that my journey is smooth sailing till I graduate.

2007-11-12T13:53:00.000+08:00

Alhamdullilah. Syukur kepada Allah s.w.t. I just ended my fp presentation a few hours ago and Im relieved that its finally over. It went ok I guess. I didnt blanked out thank goodness. Hope I can score well although I sensed that my lecturer was unsatisfied with some of the figures and my monotone presentation. I was super super nervous. It was so still and quiet in the classroom. Gosh. But Im glad its finally over.

2007-11-10T18:14:00.001+08:00

Mid-semester test is over including my cf paper. Im glad that its all over. About three more months people. Cant wait for that big day. For now, I just have to endure and be strong as each day arrives. Its been awhile since I watched a movie.. on vcd of course.hehe I watched Ratatouille today. Pretty upset though during the cocked up ending part as the vcd kept stopping here and there and I ended up with a vague understanding of it all. One thing for sure, it was a happy ending. I thought of watching Surf's Up next, but as soon as the beginning was cocked up like Rata, I switched off the whole dvd player. I was getting pretty bored with the damn 'cockiness' after cleaning the dvd several times with dvd cleaner. I wasnt ready to do just that again. At least the satay that my parents bought cheered me up abit. Yum yum.

2007-10-20T12:41:00.000+08:00

This week has been a tiring week for me. Slept as soon as I got home and bathed. Not a good thing really. I didnt get many things done. Last night my family visited my neighbours, whom we visited their homes for the first time for two out of the three families. Im familiar with the makcik2 though because I sometimes bump into them at the lift or even in the bus. Better start with my project...

2007-10-15T00:32:00.000+08:00

Wishing All Muslims "Eid Mubarak!" or "Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri!"

Ive been pretty busy yesterday and today with visiting my relatives from both my dad's and mum's side. Its been ages since I last saw most of my relatives. Its a good thing that this festivity unites us all. We try to forgive and forget mistakes and caught up with each other. Although Im still too caught up with my own feelings about past events with that someone. Wouldnt want to dwell much into this especially when Im in the festive spirit. Tomorrow I have school though. I wont be able to miss it. Its the BSG trial run. Hopefully all runs well.

I had some people who thought I was working already! Oh gosh. Dont I look like Im just a teeny weeny kid as always? Not that I dont mind looking like an adult. Hehe. I cant wait to work in fact actually. Finally finishing up on school and getting out there into the real world, even though its kinda scary to me with all the kinds of stories I hear.

I brought along with me my new digital video camera aka camcorder from Creative. Yeah! Thanks to a special someone who bought it for me. Hehe. Thanks eh. Owe ya lots. Hadnt had much time to upload photos here yet and at friendster. Perhaps soon. And of course, a picture of my new toy (camcorder). Hehe. I cant wait to finally get down and dirty with it. Meaning customising and editing the videos and pictures. What with school and all that, I just dont know when Im gonna be able to do all that. Unless I take it step by step as in do abit and then Ill continue another day. But I prefer to do all in one go. Do it, finish it and enjoy it.

2007-10-04T12:00:00.000+08:00

Observing people's behaviour can be interesting and nasty at the same time because you'll get to see what they truely are, without being caught staring of course. Seeing how they react, whats fixed upon their faces, the way they look at others etc etc made me think all kinds of imaginable scenarios on what exactly they were thinking about. I wanna be isolated for now. But I cant, can I? Unless I get outta here. Forever. Hopefully sooner than I thought.

I hadnt had much sleep last night. I was dead tired after morning prayings but I had to force myself to prepare for lessons at 9am. Im totally booked for the whole day it seems and although now is half of the day already, it felt like a lifetime for school to end. I still have 2 more lessons to sit in with each occupying 2 hours. Im so exhausted as can be.

I used to wish that Im schooled at a full time Islamic religious school and I still do. I'll be able to attain knowledge for both duniawi and ukhrawi all under one roof, be able to perform all prayers on time because there are special slotted times for them and also dress far more decently than the ones Im wearing for poly. Baju kurung/Jubah Vs Normal clothes. Get the picture? Although, I could wear baju kurung or jubah in poly actually. But being in place wear everyone wears decently would be nice, wouldnt it? People would then not mistaken me and my eyes for the wrong reasons should I accidentally look at the wrong things at the wrong time. Unfortunately, Im stuck here at where I am now. If only I grew up in the east...Because thats where most of the Islamic religious school are located and my parents could have send me there instead of a neighbourhood secular school.

The past is the past. This is what was written for me. So I should be bersyukur. And better make full use of the opportunity and not waste my parents' money! Just a few more months to endure. Just gotta to endure. And try to ignore and not let all the kinds of behaviour I observed get into my head.

2007-10-03T12:34:00.000+08:00

Ku termenung melayankan si hati yang jauh
Masa berlalu namun aku maseh mengelamun
Mataku celik tetapi tiada sinar konsentrasi
Mengapakah aku diperlakukan begini?

Pertengkaran bukanlah niatku
Bahkan ia bukan penyelesaian
Susahkan engkau untuk memahamiku?
Padahal aku melakukannya buat kebahagianmu

Mahukah engkau aku mengalah selalu?
Pabila aku tiada kesalahan pun?
Biarku mencuba hanya buatmu
Kerana aku tidak rela melihat sedih marahmu

2007-10-03T12:18:00.000+08:00

I just cant believe how people could treat others as heartless as can be either directly or indirectly, especially indirectly. I wonder what goes through in the back of their heads for their selfish, conniving evil plots. You could react either by confronting them or just sit still, watch their every move and avoid them where possible. They would come to you and pretend to be nice when all they are thinking is to use you. One must be strong and learn from the tricks these people play.

Okay so I may sound a little too much negative here but thats just the way I feel. I know its inappropriate in this holy fasting month but I just have to let it out. Indirectly, of course. I'm not gonna pinpoint directly who who did what wrong etc, in other words mengumpat, and that is totally a sin. They themselves know what they have done and they should hope and pray they never get caught or it would certainly be embarrasing and everyone will know their dark sides. I just have to keep it to myself. Suck it all in like a vacuum cleaner sucking in all the dirt and rubbish on the floor.

2007-09-28T20:14:00.000+08:00

It ended so abruptly that I wished the first week of school hadnt come to an end like that. However, things have got to begin seriously either sooner or later wouldnt it? And I sure do cant wait for everything to come to end in about four months time.

Kinda suprised to see a colleague of Maybank whom I know during my attachment at a shopping mall. More suprised to hear that my friend knew her boyfriend, whose brother was his friend. What a small world this is. And she's real pretty and cool.

2007-09-27T19:35:00.000+08:00

Semakin lama aku memikirkannya, selagi itu aku berasa sedih, marah, kecewa, menyesal dan tersinggung. Tetapi kalau aku menjadi sejuk, tiada manfaatnya dan rugilah diri aku sendiri. Biarlah aku menelannya buat beberapa bulan lagi. Biarlah aku buat seperti biasa, seperti tiada sesiapa punya urusan, bersembunyi dalam kegelapan dan harap aku tiada kacau sesiapa pun. Tetapi aku haruslah awas bagi yang ingin buat kacauan dan ambil kesempatan akan diriku. Aku sudah tahan lama. Aku harus mempertahankan diriku ini. Ya Allah, berilah pertolongan kepada hambamu yang tidak berdaya ini...

2007-09-26T12:21:00.001+08:00

Aku tak tahu kenapa dengan aku ingin berbicara dalam bahasa Melayu berterusan buat post-post aku. Mungkin aku rasa lebih selesa kerana tiada siapa dalam kelas aku yang akan dapat tau apa yang aku menaip ini. Sekarang aku memakai komputer disekolah waktu rehat. Baru aku ingin relax, aku diberitakan berita yang menyedihkan. I just have to say, eventually when we enter the workforce, we cant choose whom we wanna work with can we? Harap aku dapat tempuhi belajar di sekolah buat beberapa bulan lagi. Ya Allah, tolonglah hambamu ini yang lemah...

2007-09-25T12:13:00.000+08:00

Dan aku ingat aku ingin mulai lembaran baru dalam hidup aku. Tetapi tidakku sangka cubaanku datang pada hari kedua. Ada salah faham sebuah sms yang aku terima buat sebuah lecture. Aku sepatutnya confirmkan betul-betul tetapi sudah terlambat. Menjejas attendance aku. Biar ini lagi satu pelajaran buat diri aku. Jangan ambil sms for granted. Menangis jap aku depan kawan aku. Hehe. Emo sangat. Macam mana boleh sampai ke situ. Lecturer pon tanya aku kerana dia kenal aku dari attachment aku. Aku fikir balik apa yang aku katakan, sesuai ketidak. Semua orang macam diam dengar aku. Hehe. Rasa kesal pulak kalau alasan yang aku beri itu okay ke tak atau kuat ke tak tetapi itu semua benar dan bukan bohong. Aku kenalah tunjukkan yang lebih baik pada minggu-minggu yang akan datang. Baik hati pula seorang kelasmate aku nak minta maaf, tapi bukanlah salah dia. Salah aku tidak confirmkan waktu yang sebenar.

2007-09-24T12:07:00.000+08:00

Like they always say, a new semester, a new beginning. The first thing I did once I reached school was to clarify about my appeal. Alhamdulillah..syukur my appeal was successful. I called my mum straight after I got the news from a lecturer and I hoped I had calmed and relieved her. I don't ever wanna disappoint my parents again. I have to keep that in mind always. Its been a 'rough' vacation with my unthinkable actions prior before the vacations. Its a tough lesson that I Better learn from.

Hari pertama dalam kelas dan aku boleh rasa tekanannya. Mengapa berbual Melayu? Supaya tiada pihak yang tersinggung. Tetapi itu tidak bermakna aku boleh berbual sesuka hati sahaja. Maklumlah bulan puasa, kita haruslah jaga mulut ini sikit. Tetapi keseluruhannya pada hari pertama, Alhamdulillah... Bolehlah tahan...

2007-09-22T17:59:00.000+08:00

Would you bring me a rainbow?
Would there be gold at the end?
Would this feeling ever last?
Come take my hand

We'll set sail bright early
On a journey of hopes & dreams
Would you stay with me till the end?
Or would you rather watch than attend?

2007-09-21T02:43:00.000+08:00

Iftar with a dear friend, who I havent seen in a while, was enjoyable and relieving. I hadnt had such outing and company in ages due to my really small social circle. It was uplifting and I felt a huge weight brushed off my shoulders after revealing what was bothering on my mind all this while. Thanks for listening and talking me, youknowwho ;)

It was exciting to iftar outside. I didnt know many Muslims did so too until I was exposed to the outside world. I normally spend the time with my family during iftar. Its been an unspoken rule and a 'tradition' one fasting month after the other. We decided to break fast at Banquet of Jurong Point. I settled on teriyaki bento while my friend settled on porridge. I wished I had the same as hers as I didnt quite finished mine. Hehe. I do eat alot but Im easily fully satisfied at the same time. I really need to rethink what exactly I wanna gobble down to the end carefully next time and not waste food resources.

It was kind enough for a makcik to offer us dates and thoughtful of a pakcik to help me return the tray I unthinkingly brought along with me when I went to sit. Deep down in my heart, Im thankful but I hope my gratefulness shows on my face and not my extreme shyness. I do have a tendency to not react well and awkwardness and shyness will be plastered on my face. I guess the saying is right; Malu ada tempatnya. Im still overcoming it and I hope I really do learn to know whens the right time to be really malu or not.

Oh gosh. After hearing much about donuts, I feel like having some now. But sadly, its the middle of the night now so its a no-no.

2007-09-20T23:23:00.001+08:00

I thought I'd changed the layout of my blog with something simple. Really simple. And here it is. Plain solid black. I just like the colour. Gives me a sense of mystery, secrecy and privacy even though its published in the public domain. Furthermore I dont think many people read my anonymous blog which is okay to me because this is whats going to remind myself of my teenagehood and perhaps adulthood when I grow older and also thats the way I like it. With less than a week before school reopens, revamping my blog's template is a great way I guess to spend my free time besides than cleaning up my room, which I better get on to it as soon as possible.

There's a big fat ugly cockroach in my living room. I just had to say. I bet its still there as I'm typing. Making itself comfy and homey under the sofa. I was watching tv when it suddenly dropped from God knows where and onto the hard floor. Initially I thought it was a really big spider but as soon as I saw it by its side, its one big brown cockroach. My dad failed to kill it and it escaped under the sofa. What a great way to spoil my night. I was munching happily while watching about big cats on tv. But now, with that big ugly cockroach under the sofa, I had no choice but to sit on the carpet, which didn't provide me with a good view of the tv however a rather safe position where I could take off should that cockroach crawl out any second from the sofa. Standing up while eating was another option but a tiring and unhealthy one. I finished up everything I had to eat and off the tv, lights and all eventually.

A few days ago it was one big ugly lizard in the kitchen. I screaaamed so loud until I think the neighbours could even hear it. It was gliding so fast from the ceiling to the tabletop. This time my dad managed to kill it. He whacked it so hard until its tail parted from its body. I shivered at the sight of its broken tail wriggling on the floor by itself. Urghh... I can't believe I know someone who likes to have lizards at their house. Said that it helps to kill all other insects. More urghh... I just have a phobia on those little squirmy things. I mean who doesnt?

2007-09-18T23:59:00.000+08:00

Both me and my sis were nervous. My sis described her as garang or fierce. But it turned out different. She was sweet, funny, knowledgeable and we could even ask her more questions if we had wanted to but we didnt. We felt so scared until we tried to convenient her and not to cause her much trouble and hassle. We interviewed an ustazah whose a principle of an Islamic religious school today. Kinda felt embarrassed and ashamed at the letter we gave her. We forgot to insert the questions! Oh goodness. I felt we were such lousy and unprepared interviewers. Perhaps we were her most lousiest interviewers. Oh gosh. So malu. We both like don't wanna mention or even talk about it after we left that school after feeling embarrassed and all. But I guess the part when we asked her questions was okay. She answered every of our questions knowledgeably and in full and we thanked her for it. Its just that letter part. This teaches us a good lesson. No matter what we have to get the materials right.

My sis went home straight after that but I went to see a friend. We bought 4 pc games, which were selling cheap, but sadly mine couldn't detect the cd at all when I wanted to install them. I haven't tried again. Maybe some other day. I don't know how many times we went to the electrical store, Best Denki, megamart Giant, or let alone the shopping mall. Its always been here in the east side or south. I have to agree with someone that the east side is much more vibrant than the west. I grew up in the west all my life and nothing beats it but the east. The east have more exciting and colourful shopping malls, food centers and environment you can say. Perhaps I've been in the west too much until the east is like foreign to me and I felt bewildered by it. Ahh not to forget the beach. A place where there is 80% water and 20% people. An escape from crazy busy daily life where I could relax my mind with nature.

2007-09-16T22:40:00.000+08:00

What do you get if you don't sleep at night? An extremely tired mind, body and soul the whole day. I was sleepy during ugama, slept in the car every chance I had gotten into it, dragged my feet almost the whole time during my family outing and felt uninterested at anything at all besides than to sleep or the least was to sit!

I walked passed a shooting of 'Warna Ramadhan' today. Or somewhat nearly actually. As soon as I walked pass with the oh so glamourous old blue beg I was carrying, someone shouted words, which I don't understand and are words them media people use I guess, that nontheless gave me an impression that I spoilt their take. I guess with my back towards the camera along with the beg wasn't all that much appealing on camera. But it was kinda thrilling seeing suria stars. I saw a former suria segar host, whose name I don't quite remember and who shook hands with my dad because my dad just had to shake his and tell him of he being cik mimik's brother-in-law. I don't think he knows who you are dad. Oh well. A funny thing to watch my dad. Besides that, I saw the beautiful Fizah (not me) and her co-host of 'Warna Ramadhan' show. She is really tall, white and pretty in person (again, not me).

2007-09-14T02:36:00.000+08:00

The sudden urge to eat ice cream was unbearable that I just had to buy it until a point I don't think of other tidbits. Its that bad people for a tidbit freak like me. What's worse is that my sis tried to reach me to ask to buy other kinds of tidbits but failed. She dialed the correct number but sadly its not the number I'm using at that moment. Nevertheless we still got ice cream which saved the day.

Walking through my neighbourhood at night is different from walking during the day. The night brings silence and stillness when there are no night activities going on such as people exercising, playing takraw or the occasional celebration of some kind, which I've never really gotten to attend but merely passed by them sometimes. Daylight brings about an opposite turn. The air filled with the hustle and bustle of people walking pass from bustops, carparks or pathways to their desired hdb blks and the playful laughter and shrieks of children or youngsters running around freely at the playground, badminton court or street soccer court.

Nightime today was still and silent. The faint sounds of vehicles on the main road in the distance were nothing much but a whisper. I thought I picked out some of the cheaper ice-creams at Caltex since I was on a budget but it seems that I had overlooked on the prices, resulting in only getting a dollar change. Should open my eyes big-big next time, like they always say.

2007-09-13T02:06:00.000+08:00

The fasting month is finally here. In a few hours time, I'm going to saur and fast for the first day of Ramadhan. Time to refrain myself from doing all that is haram and make it a practice to do more of yang halal that brings pahala. I know I should make it a habit to do so on a day to day basis and not only especially do it when the holy month arrives. Hopefully, with the arrival of the fasting month and the other Islamic months after that, I'll be a better person and continue to improve myself to live di jalan yang benar till death comes. InsyaAllah.

Yesternight, I had a somewhat sisterly bonding with my sis. We decided to cook up a 'feast' together in the middle of the night and carefully did so without making my parents especially my mum mad about. She's pretty particular when we're cooking-and-making-a-mess-at-the-same-time in the kitchen, but I guess she had toned down abit and loosen up as we grew up. The 'feast' we're talking about are hotdogs and scrabbled eggs. Had the hotdogs boiled first before frying the eggs mixed with chilli - with the persuasion of my sister because it happens to be the way she liked to cook them eggs and me being a good little sister not wanting to break the bond by giving in. Hehe. Ya right. Feeling all frenzied with the cooking, we also ended up frying the boiled hotdogs till crispy and black with black pepper sprinkled onto some of them. The food was great but it could be better if we had some nice movie to watch too as we ate. There's an urgent need to buy new vcds and save us from the current-and-watch-many-times-before vcds laying at home. Settled at Hunchback on cable although it wasn't really that bad a movie when the climax came.

Kinda made me wanna cook something up or bake after yesterday's cooking episode with my sis. Wished I have all the ingredients needed whenever I decided to make something out of the blue. I hardly used the oven since I moved here. Sort of wanna adjust but dunno whens that right time. Hmm. Its nice to know someone who wanna bake with me since we live in the same neighbourhood but sadly, I just don't know if the vacations are ever the right time to do baking with her due to the fasting month, prayers and all that. Hope she understands. Oh well, at least she could eat the already baked goodies when Hari Raya comes if she wants to make that one-person trip here again like last year. Hehe.

2007-09-10T21:59:00.000+08:00

Funny how events played games with us now and then and stir our emotions till the point of no return. At one moment, you can be consumed with unlimited happiness and joy but the next thing you know, you are being crushed and all wrapped up in sadness, hatred, anger etc. How I wished time could be turned back to make changes, undo mistakes, not overlook things, do things right. But that wont ever happen wouldnt it. So whats the point of whining about it like always? For the fun of it. Why cant we play games too?

Ingenious. The usage of napkins to replace rolls of tissue. Its amazing how one can use 3 pieces of tissue from a roll almost all the time after washing one's hands each time. Not to forget the tiniest bit of dirt or the feeling of dirt on one's hands could end up one washing them up hundreds of times. Its all in the name of hygiene but a waste of water and resources usage. Its an obsessive compulsive disorder that I've fought, or so better try to, for years. I just can't help the feeling of not washing my hands even though they had touched pretty decent and clean things. However, thanks to my dad's bright idea of using napkins, which come in much much cheaper than tissue rolls, the days of unnecessary overusage of tissue resources would be diminished. Gonna have to worked harder though on the taps.

2007-09-06T23:06:00.000+08:00

I watched the sky gradually becoming darker blue before it eventually hits total blackness with the exception of the mixture of white and grey clouds hovering above including a few tiny stars. Negative thoughts never fail to leave me. I felt ever so down right low like I always do, thinking, almost all the time, of how I find it extremely hard to ever crawl out and survive out of this insecured and clueless abyss full of hardships after hardships. It was relieving enough to sit there on the bench away from others but only one along with the inhabitants of nature mostly circling around me. Even so, the reality of it all still remains stuck in my head as I tried to calm myself and not think about it. Im just glad that I did feel a tad of peacefulness after awhile but not so glad of the eerie feeling building up once darkness came and the dim lights present were not so much bringing light onto me.

Earlier on I went to the personal development programme I signed up for, Wearing the Right Undergarment. Learned abit about the everyday undergarment we girls have to wear. Interesting and enriching I guess. Got a free flowery bra strap, which I have no idea how to wear it, shame on me, a keep-track-of-bra-size card and a swimwear magazine from Triumph International, obviously, as the programme was conducted by them.

Another class BBQ to be held if all goes well. But I'm not going. Firstly, its held during Ramadhan, which is a holy month and we've got prayers and all that, and secondly I just don't wanna go. Its kinda disrespectful and inappropriate to me if I were to go in such a holy month.

So in the dimness I sat. Trying as best I could to think of everything but reality, in other words, nothing. To think of nothingness. Pure blankness. Total stoning of the mind. Yup. It never fails to bring up my day. Furthermore, after a terrifying ride that had me muttered prayers after prayers (but thank God everything went fine, Alhamdulillah), the serene and free-from-civilisation environment was the only hope I felt that could cool a raging heart. And it did. Im thankful. Alhamdulillah. Journey home was fast as usual but fortunately with a melted cool heart as I detected.

Im so desperate and in need of a good digital video camera!

2007-09-05T22:33:00.000+08:00

I wanna runaway
And not care about the world
Do the things that I wanna do
Without thinking, without rules

I wanna live in a country
Withdraw in quiet solitary
Far off from everybody
Where I could retire peacefully

2007-09-03T22:17:00.000+08:00

I made a bubble and suddenly I felt kiddish for once in a long long time. Not that I'm soo damn mature, because I'm pretty childish most of the time, but its just that the feeling of playing with something that simple brings out the child in me. The Protex antibacterial shower cream didn't help much in reliving my childhood memories of fiddling with bubbles but its the least I could use. Bubble after bubble I blew. Holding them onto my hands and blowing them off to let them float in the air was pure joy. I wished I could relive my childhood days and be more prepared and ever ready to step into teenagehood. And before you know it, I might repeat the same thing when I'm older. Of how I wished I could relive my teenagehood and be more prepared and ever ready to step into adulthood. But that will never happen. The future is nothing but a mystery.

Gosh. Bukit Batok has one of the highest dengue cases. Heard it in the news today. Of all the places in this tiny Island. Not that I want any other places to get it. In fact, I want it to be gotten rid of for good. Get your act together people! Lets fight dengue! Please?

2007-09-02T20:54:00.000+08:00

Another sleepless night. I think I ought to start sleeping properly before it gets out of hand and uncontrollable in future. I had my saur in the wee hours of the morning after which I finally slept. However, I only managed to sleep for a couple of hours before I had to get dressed for my religious class. My sister had her private classes again so I'm left with myself. There was no presentation today for Tafsir as the Ustazah didn't come. An Ustaz took over and explained a few Quranic verses of Surah Al-Waqiah. Made me reflect on myself. All the sins I've committed. How lalai I am. How I've got to change and become a better person before its too late.

After my classes, me and my parents went to buy food and some necessities before we head home straight. I felt kinda giddy almost throughout the journey due to the sleepless yesternight. As soon as we got home, I straight away slept like a baby. The only remedy to cure myself from the headaches. Come evening I felt much better and refreshed before I feasted on the laksa my mum bought for buka.

The last few days my family had been experiencing and hearing knocks and banging from our neighbours one level above us. First, we presumed it to be from children. But after awhile, it begins to remind me of my old home when we were living with my sick uncle. Only Allah knows. Hopefully, whoever is doing that would stop.

2007-09-02T03:11:00.000+08:00

This is a lovely piece of Planetarium played on the piano by some guy. The best version I've ever heard so far. I wished I could play like that. Wonder who's behind that piano. Such a mystery.

Planetarium On Piano

I first heard of the Planetarium song from a Japanese drama series my sister bought called "Hana Yori Dango". Its a pretty romantic story between a girl and a member of a group of guys called F4. Some sort like meteor garden. But I lurve this Japanese version. One of the F4's member (Matsumoto Jun acting as Doumyouji Tsukasais, below) is kinda cute. Hehe.

2007-09-01T01:58:00.000+08:00

I failed yet again to wake up on a Saturday morning. I spent the whole night using the computer watching a movie marathon thinking that this time round I'm able to make it. Started out with Mr Bean's Holiday, followed by Fantastic Four 2 and lastly The Simpsons Movie. I thought I really did could make it even though I eventually fell asleep at 7am, hoping I could wake up around 9am. Sadly, I couldn't bring myself to wake up fully and slept back after shutting up the alarm clock. Haiz. I'm so disappointed with myself. Saturday after saturday I do not fail to wake up late. Haiz.

So I spent the few hours of daylight watching cable. One show after the other until night came. Spongebob then on to Avatar then on to Heroes and Numbers and then on to A Bug's Life. What an unfruitful day. The only thing I managed to meaningfully do was to clean up my closet. Well, at least something was being done. I wanted to follow my sister today to her friend's sister's jemputan but unfortunately, she didnt let me. Haiz. I found out why when she came back. My mum caught sight of her riding on a motorbike with someone. No wonder I couldn't tag along. I'll just be an extra califare (Not sure of its spelling), which she probably wouldn't know where to throw. No doubt her boyfriend. Haiz. Just wished I woken up early today.

2007-09-01T00:03:00.000+08:00

She's the winner for the One In A Million singing competition in Malaysia. The song she's singing is called "Berdiri". And get this. The singer is a chinese named Suki. I think she sang pretty well. Love the song.

More about her @ Suki's Friendster

2007-08-31T03:47:00.000+08:00

Dark clouds rolling in

Covering the blueness
Sealing the whiteness
Marking its territory

Running for shelther
The only sheild available
As raindrops fall by little
Before its too late

Cold and shivering
Winds hitting against you
Striking anything that blocks
Never fail to stop

2007-08-31T03:36:00.000+08:00

The rain couldn't be more suprising today. It was cloudy but it wasn't that cloudy until you expected rain pouring down on you the next second. Unfortunately, and suprisingly, it did. It started with a few drops and BAM. In a matter of seconds it was pouring hard with strong winds blowing against me. The few people around ran for the small cover ahead. Kinda felt awkward being there under the tiny cover and I tried to avoid eye contact. Pretty shy you can say. Luckily, the rain reda just in a few minutes. Yet another suprise.

2007-08-29T01:28:00.000+08:00

I was suprised to hear Olynn, a contestant in Live The Dream, sang. I remembered her in Ikon but I wasnt really captivated by her vocals back then. However, that has changed tonight. She gave a great vocal performance on Live The Dream just now. Kinda felt thankful for her singing so well because the other soloists before her, well lets just say they could have done much better. Voted for her twice with the insistance of my mum of course and the use of dad's handphone. Hehe.

2007-08-29T01:17:00.000+08:00

I just hate it when my scarf do not co-operate. Seriously. I'll complain and complain all day long until something can be done about it and I feel secured. The starch was a teeny weeny bit of helpful today but not as helpful as I was really hoping it would be. The fatal creases caused by the hard rock head skull couldnt be more obvious and the brutal end result I got - a lemper scarf. Haiz. Im becoming too vain. But its so damn annoying not being able to get that perfect position.

2007-08-28T22:55:00.000+08:00

The question of fact
Still lingers in my mind
Will it ever be answered?
Will I ever be able to be in one piece?

They try to take everything
Everything away from me
Suction every bit of detail
Out of me, out of my very soul

I try to regain
Every single shred of dignity
Left in me
Will I ever succeed?

They can take everything
From the inside
Before they finally realize
Its just not worth it.

2007-08-27T22:30:00.000+08:00

Started off the morning on a negative note. At least the cat cheered me up even though it gave my tshirt a good makeover with its thick brush of fur and icky saliva filled with fish food. Come afternoon, things have gotten much better and I'm thankful for that. I've got to force myself to wake up in the mornings to avoid the fights. Went to peninsula and funan later on in the afternoon. As usual we went to Challenger to see the IT stuff there. How I wish I have the money to buy all those tempting gadgets that I've never own before. Gotta start saving.

Bought some antiseptic soaps at an inexpensive shop. Hopefully they'll give some light to my condition. Hehe. If you know what I mean. Kinda pointless walking in PS. I dont really know why we were there but we just kept walking. Visited the Creative shop to check out the mp3s on offer. Nothing much there really. Alas, there was some purpose at Daiso. We bought a soap holder for my antiseptic soaps. Hehe.

Whisk me away
To the path of freedom
Where I could roam
As freely as I can ever be...

2007-08-26T20:40:00.000+08:00

Today marks the day I finally managed to break free from the short journeys in the west and explore the newly travelled long journeys from central to the east. Weee! How happy can I ever be? My dad finally allows me to take charge of the car from Madrasah Al-Irshad at Newton where my religious classes are being held. Much thanks to my sister too for having her private classes so its either my mum or me who could drive. Great thanks to my dad for giving me the chance even though I hadn't had much practice, especially on Saturday mornings, which he expects most out of me. Hehe. Pretty scary but definitely a valuable experience because it made me wanna wake up on Saturday mornings more than ever now. Believe me. Orchard road have one of the most scariest roads I must say because there are lots and I really mean lots of vehicles of different shapes and sizes. The roads are huge with many sections of lanes and incoming vehicles from both left and right. My dad could easily detect how frightened and ghairah or kanchong I was and I got scolded for it. I know I know. I should have woken up on the early mornings of Saturdays to practice and I will, hopefully. No, I must. I have to. For myself, for my family.

We were heading off to Masjid Sultan from town but changed to Geylang instead due to a particular truck, which just had to block the entrance of the carpark near Bussorah Street. The bad thing about it was that I just couldnt wait to get off the car at that point. The good thing was I get to experience driving further into the east and travel on the roads I've never been able to before. It was a great rush of adrenaline and excitement to make that journey. One that I wished I could have done it again but do it better so as to make my dad proud of me.

So we parked the car at Joo Chiat Complex and went off to eat. I thought we could eat at the Teh Tarik Muslim Eating House because I just lurve the nasi ayam madu there. However, due to some issues regarding the owner of that coffee shop, my parents didnt want to. Eventually we ate at a cafe opposite from it. I ordered nasi ayam charsiew, hoping that its similiar to the nasi ayam madu. The chicken meat is red and all but the taste cannot beat the honeyed chicken. Oh well, there's always a next time with my dearest.

What's the most happiest event of today is that I get to go shopping! Yippee! Even though we were at Geylang, there were some pretty awesome clothes, that I finally get to buy after much awaiting. Finally, I get to buy brand new clothes to replace the old, belapuk ones I've always been wearing. I'm really thankful to my mum but felt pretty guilty at the same time for making her spend so much for me. 5 pairs of new clothings, more than anyone could ask for. Thanks mum for the new clothes. And thanks dad for waiting patiently for me.

Exhausted but happy. Drove the first trip back from east to west. An achievement with much improvement that could be made. Can't wait to try on my new clothes. Weeeeeee!

2007-08-25T16:35:00.000+08:00

I thought I would crap away as I'm waiting for the time I can finally get out. Hmm what shall we talk about? I'm not particularly good at crapping. Whining's more like it. But I'll give it a try.

How rude can drivers get? Pretty rude. Recently, I saw a lorry driver spitted saliva out his window to the public bus I was on. He was obviously driving too slow so the bus horned at him and overtook him. After that disgusting spit, he just made a slumber face as if nothing had happened and continued chatting with a passenger beside him. The reason he was road hogging. Haiz. Pretty sad and angry at the same time seeing people's behaviour which can be unempathetic and insensitive at times.

Besides that, quite some time ago I saw two cars which were obviously not happy with each other. One of them didn't give way to the other. So resulting the other not happy. Both ended up threathening each other by swerving very close, one to the right the other to the left, to intimidate the other party. It happened right in front of me. I was in a taxi, which were driving a few metres behind them. Haiz. Patience and give and take is a must especially when your on the road. When my taxi drove passed them, safely for that matter thank goodness, I saw the both unhappy drivers gesturing to one another to 'come out and fight' something like that. And thats all the drama I saw.

Okla. Thats all I have for now. Just nice. Now baru lepas Asar. Hopefully this is what I call crapping? I dunno. Hehe. Just something to share. Ok gotta go.

2007-08-25T15:50:00.000+08:00

Woke up late again. As always on saturdays. Haiz. No shopping. Double haiz. How I wished I can go out. But dont think so. Why cant just the three of us go shopping? Me, my mum and dad. Nope. No can do. Wanna go shopping, go as a family. My sister just had to school today. Haiz. Great timing. On the bright side, at least later after Asar we'll be going out. Wash the car and antar my mum gi masjid. At least there's something. How I wish I can hang out on saturdays. I barely ever went out on saturdays. The very very few times I did, I saw teens hanging and having fun. How I wished I could. I could if I change my habit. Weekends and not weekdays. Haiz. Or have an innocent outing. Oh well, I can only dream for now.

2007-08-24T18:40:00.000+08:00

Gosh. I've been reading through some people's blogs and discovered how fast people's lives are progressing. Progressing well for that matter. Im happy for them. Hopefully mines as smooth sailing as theirs.

Nothing much done today. Only bayar puasa and laze around at home. I thought of going out today to finish some business but I was suprised to find my parents having off today and at home. So thoughts of going out had to be cancelled. But its ok. At least I get to spend some quality time with my family? Ya some quality time we had. My parents and sister are so hooked up with the Hikmah Indonesian drama vcds these past few weeks! Its either watch cable or Hikmah. And most of the time its Hikmah. The current phenomenon, which I wish would end as soon as possible. The drama's interesting and all that but its just too long for me. They twist, turn and complicate the story until Im fed up to see the characters taking advantage of the other and just want to see some resolutions and a happy ending fast.

Just cant wait to eat the Canadian Pizza my family ordered to break my fast. Kinda felt pitiful for the delivery guy. We only gave him a 10 cents tip. His face was really happy and all when I paid him and told him to keep the change. But I only found out later that we actually paid $22, only 10 cent more than the charged price of $21.90. Oh well, at least its still rezeki for that guy even though the sum may be small.

Ok gotta go. Half an hour more before I get to taste that scruptious pizza.

2007-08-24T16:57:00.000+08:00

Never could time be rewind
To redo things differently
To achieve the desired outcome
And erase all mistakes away

Feelings of regret and guilt
Memories of pain and sufferings
Uncertainty of the future
Thats all that remains

2007-08-12T02:08:00.000+08:00

It was and still is painful. The past. The present. And perhaps the future. Did I bring this upon myself? Or was I not careful? Or was it just fated to be? Whatever it is. It happened. So get over it.

Its just hard to get over something thats impacted you alot. It will always stick in your memory like glue and can never be erased away. What have I done to deserve this? Why not others? And then, comes the same old questions. Did I bring this upon myself? Or...

2007-08-11T02:32:00.000+08:00

I woke up super late today like the previous days before. This is not good. Even though vacations are around the corner, I still have to get through the exams first. Felt drained and heavy, like always these pass few days, as soon as I got off my bed. I then bathed and had brunch. Before eating, I had actually thought of how long it had been since I last tasted my mum's home cooked rice. Yes. I just suddenly out of the blue was thinking that. And what a suprise. My mum cooked rice and sambal udang and telur. Yum Yum. A delightful meal to start off the day or to start off the evening more like it. However, nothing much really happened. I just studied, have a bite now and then or watch TV. I thought I could send my mum to the mosque but my dad didnt want to. Saying the usual stuffs like not waking up early, help wash the car blah blah blah. It wasnt too late to send my mum off actually. Just had to see my dad's mood. He always have to be around. He's the navigator, vehicle commander, or whatever you would call it. Haiz. Nevermind. Just hope I wake up early next saturday.